Friday, April 15, 2011
It's either me or the beer, boys. Giving all y'all a piece of my mind.
~There's something about the video that reminds me of my state of mind. "It's either me or the beer, boys."
I value eye-contact when it comes to finding a romantic partner and believe me, that's been quite a mission for me, and it has been a mission for quite some time. I'm not the easiest person to really get to know. I'm on the go, I'm always working, I'm headstrong, I'm independent, I rarely back down and although I'm open, I don't make myself vulnerable very often. Quite the contrary. Actually, I have to make an effort, a real effort everyday, to connect and be real. I see it as my work.
I'm not going to talk about being real though. I'm being real, and it's my "eye-contact" I'm interested in this time...That's the thing in the movies that tells us that the two people in the story are going to get together. In film studies lingo it's called the eye-line match. In real life, I have no idea how to maintain it with a guy who I don't know across the room without wanting to bury my head in the sand. So, yeah, I have resorted to online dating.
What surprises me online is how many guys choose profile pictures of themselves with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer. I suppose there's an unspoken tradition here, one that says, "I'm laid back, 'cause look at me, I drink beer." Or, I'm a super star aficionado. 'Cause, look, I drink this wine." I don't know. I don't know what it all means.
Frankly, I don't drink and I never click on profiles where the first photo is the guy holding a glass, no matter what it is. But my big question is, why do guys do that? Why do they think it's attractive?
I think I want to investigate that next. I'm going to stop it with all the judgments, get curious, and just ask. "What's up with the beer photos, guys?"
I'm guessing, that in the online tradition, it must be something akin to a tradition in painting where businessmen decided at one point that they were getting wealthy and powerful, and as a result wanted to show off their possessions. They had achieved a state of being they wanted to project in the world. (See page 13 in John Berger's Ways of Seeing on this tradition in oil painting. Google Ways of Seeing for the Pdf.)
In the case of the guys I am making "eye-contact" with online, the "wine-in-hand tradition" is a sign of a state of being too. What is the state, though?
Wouldn't you like to know? Maybe not, but I do.
And that is my mission. Speak up if you have something to say about it!
(I posted this on "Negar in NYC" because I want to eventually write a magazine article about my investigations, but I think the blog actually belongs here, where I like to discuss the intersection of technology and the human with you, my friends.)